05.31.07
ok so here we go again… i think?
i’ve decided to start blogging again. not so much personal stuff anymore, as that stage [of depression] is definately past and i’m definately moving forward. so hopefully limited bitching + moaning and lots of super rad awesome exciting art news.
i’m having a show at kieth + lottie on june 11. i have pretty 
much finished all of my works for it so it is really exciting– just got to tag them and make sure they are sale worthy and the paint won’t fall off as soon as people get them home. that aint what we’re about. i also need to sort out prints to sell. i said i was going to, but can i really be bothered? no, not really no. on the other hand, i will suffer if i don’t. this industry is not cheap.
on the right is one of my girls. her name is hannah.
10.12.06
too much rock for one camp
flipping heck, what a week– and it isn’t even over.
i got back from youth camp yesterday afternoon, and despite still being knackered from the three intense days of pastoring and leadership i can tell you now it was definately worth going. it’s so funny that the things that kill me half the time are caused by the things/people that i love. my girls and boys at youth were so lovely, and they make everything worth while. i have been in severe pain for the last few weeks, so it was very hard to sum up the energy needed for the camp, and everything to do with it, so most of my responcibilities were minimised to being there and hanging out with the kids. it was great.
however, there are a few sereous issues which came up in my life that i need to deal with.
on passing, here is some wicked graff dave hack photographed in the US:: my computer is not cooperating, so click the link::
http://hackbrothers.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/10/DSC07141.JPG
10.03.06
toys.
this house i’m sitting is flipping funny. the amount of porn we had to hide or take down when we came in was amazing, and the boys have like, tv’s in every room. it’s crazy.
now i understand why women feel sometimes that they are widowed to the computers or games their husbands get into. this stuff really is everywhere: and i’m very sure that more time and attention has gone into setting up networks and things than i spend even thinking about design or drawing.
i’m getting more drawing done this week, thanks to this dude’s vinyl collection- it is so sweet-amazing. TeeJay, Shemma and i have been listening to pink floyd all weekend.
link for you: www.hackbrothers.com some aquaintinces of mine are driving all over america. the grammer is so bad it’s worse than even mine, but dave and rosco have taken a few sweet pictures over the course.
a better site to make you drool at the talent: www.mikeomeally.com he is by far my favorite photographer alive and kicking at the moment. amazing talent.
09.14.06
14.09.06 one month and i’m 21
musings in the studio. and becky: she really does look like me now.
08.28.06
it’s been a while since i’ve written, but not since i’ve drawn.
i have, at least kept my drawing up.
my drawing style has changed dramatically this year, seeing as different things have been inspiring me.
when i was in fashion school i was taught how to find inspiration, but we were also told where to look. those lessons were invaluable in this young artist’s life, but now i have to get off my butt and actually get inspired myself. some days it’s harder than others.
i’ve got a new studio space, and it’s working very well for me.
i still struggle with depression, but i’m on some new antidepressants which help my rational thinking a lot more. i also decided a few weeks ago that i missed my eccentricity, so these days i have been making an effort to wear things that are fun, and i got a fun haircut as well.
the pain is the worst. it is still an unwanted companion in my waking and my sleeping.
and then there are the dreams. every night i’m in some other reality from the night before, and so my life is so disjointed it’s really starting to wear me out.
but my God is still good.
08.22.06
22.08.06. speaking to brad sara, the best big brother God invented
this last weekend was quite odd. i ended up making that honesty shirt, which got me into trouble as around five people loved it so much they put in orders for when we’re actually selling them! good trouble though ::
i also ended up getting myself into making a shirt which says ‘Jesus freak’ on it, for one of the nubian gents. i got Peter to print it, cos he needs practice and it ended up getting ink all over it. he’s suffed his first few prints up so bad! but he is learning. i almost didn’t give the shirt to jamie as i was so embarrassed about the mess it was in, but i’m glad i did as he was pumped on receving it. the dude flipped out hey. i had a six foot black american squealing at me in a crowd full of tenagers at 11:00pm on a saterday night :: just another of kate’s odd adventures ::
i finally got a haircut today. a lovely sarah askwith cut. she is so talented, or as her trainer tristan said, she kicks arse. i always feel so bad at only giving her $15 for the cut. she is an artist, man. it’s a graduated bob, and i look quite different. i’ll put some pictures up as soon as i can be bothered taking photos of it :: and some honesty stuff too ::
i’m also thinking i’ll start sewing up some purses and bags for sale at my exhibition. that will be fun. lonely girl paintings, honesty shirts and creature bags. it will be quite the display. i’ve really got to get moving with the paintings though ::
last night brad sara came to the furnace. i was feeling trashed, my weekend had been extremily trying due to excessive pain, and i was just fully worn down. Paul, our friend the 25 year old scholar tried to find some sort of advice for a girl who was sitting on the floor, crying out for help :: he didn’t realise words or trying to understand simply doesn’t cut it ::
i’m so sick of advice. people always go ‘you should sleep more’, ‘you should eat more’, ‘how many doctors have you seen?’ ‘are you sure you’re depressed?’ Brad was so gorgeous, he just sat there read me a beautiful verse, and gave me a hug before praying for me gently. he just had the tenderness of a father which would have made me bawl, if i could cry at all, thank God, it was just what i wanted, needed ::
i’m not cured, i’m hardly even better off, but it’s good to be reminded of a father’s love once and a while in it’s human form, even if it’s God working through a friend and mentor such as brad ::
08.17.06
17.08.06. it’s only 7:47 and i am ready for bed!
i took the plunge and got a new phone today. its silver, and has more features than i even know how to use. yay me. it amuses me that i’m quite adept given design software, but otherwise i am completely technoligically in adept!
i was going to print up an honesty shirt for adrenalin, but i am so knackered it just isn’t going to happen. instead, i’ll just sit and listen to panic! at the disco and listen to my sister’s stories about school today. yay lazy-o.
08.15.06
15.08.06.
i’m screeming more than i’m breathing. the pain is really starting to push me over the edge. i wake up with the pain, and i go to sleep with the pain. it is a constant companion, and not the type that makes life easier.
i think the worst part is that as i get more worn down the less i can do, but also the less patience i have with people, to the point where i found myself going for a run through the streets of mount lawley at 1 am this morning. what pushed me so far? three people sit
t
ing in a prayer room over analyzing a pa
rticular problem in the church. 
(just some of the beautiful kids i may be leaving behind)
i spoke to my production team director last night and she says i’m not letting the team down, but i know i’m letting myself down by pushing it. i just keep planning to do things and then getting sick. i’m thinking i’ll have to take a navigation role and simply come up with ideas, getting other people to set them up- which again means more work for others which i was doing myself for so long.
i’m kind of over the whole ‘i am such a burden on people’ thing these days at least. i mean, i still can’t drive, and quite often can’t do things, but i suppose you just get used to your limitations. i guess that is a part of growing up as well.
i also keep missing church. it is so funny, the paths we take. last year when people would ‘take a break’ from church i would never understand. i didn’t necesarily condemn or judge them, but i couldn’t comprehen having to take a break from something which fed me so much and the people i loved. these days i find that i can only go to one service or i completely over stretch myself.
so much has changed. i still love the people, but like in every relationship, i’m definately seeing cracks in the system. and i’m finding it waring. i do think this is something i will grow through, but i also knew i wouldn’t be at metro forever, so if it’s time to move on, i guess i will just have to do it. of course that means not seeing people i have learned to love and have given me so much, like Robyn Chalk, my metro mum; Pete Gig, the guy who taught me sound. Matthiew Marks, who has been sunshine in some of my darkest days, and of course the rest of my co leaders at metroyouth. that isn’t even including all the girls i have mentored over the past 5 years, and jesse and benny, my adopted little brothers. ouch. that isn’t even all of them.
there is so much which is good, solid and that i love at metro, but also so much these days that i question. i suppose once again, it’s just a part of growing up, and making decisions. we need to be willing to make sacrifices for the sake of God’s plan for our lives, and the more we do that, the more we find things work out way better than when we try to do it ourselves.
definately a lot to think about.
but before i go anywhere, i have a huge rocks your socks off weekend of fun and games which is adrenalin weekend, the annual youth alive event. we’re promoing the event at perth mod this year with the nubian gents friday afternoon, a dance crew from brooklyn new york. the we’ll hopefully be running a whole bunch of kids over to the event from the school, if we have our way (thankyou Jesus). it will be great and fantastic and all things good.
bye then.
08.08.06
05.08.06… musings on naomi’s computer at a day prayer event
Its awesome how differently God uses people. Everyone in this room is unique. Unique in their conversations, occupations, the way they have been raised and in the way they simply are.
Looking around this room are individuals that God has collected from all over the shop. Students, teachers, artists, youth pastors, and fashion designers. We are different, and yet God is mixing us all together in His own mysterious recipe of what may even look to us as a disaster, but He knows in his wisdom is genius. It’s moments like this that you look around, take a big breath and say ‘God, what are you doing? What amazing thing am I a part of?’ It’s a moment of paused breath, spotting someone you have only just met across the room and seeing their amazing potential. And then you realize that you are a part of making eternity bigger. Every prayer has an effect you could never imagine. In all of the changes, shifts and turns; throughout history and the world; from Perth, which is plagued by staleness and unbelief to places where being a Christian is illegal. From the early church in Jerusalem and Greece to now, prayer meetings have taken place. A circle of friends or strangers, a group of Christians have always met. Always gathered to declare the victory of God over their region, city, country, or even their world. This is a place where God bestows gifts upon people, and people start to use things they were anointed with from birth. They see their worth, and identity in Christ. They see that it’s ok to be a child with God. They realize how little they actually know about the world. And that that is ok. If they are searching, they find something substantial. If they are lost, they discover where they are. If they are mourning, they find themselves staring to sing. It isn’t the place. Not this room, its position, or even the people filling it. These are the results of being in the presence of God.
And, with this realization, we let out our breath and say ‘Bring it on.’
After a large amount of people take their leave, a remnant sit round in a circle worshiping: the singers, the hummers, the quiet contemplators and the tone deaf, everyone commits. Over a cup of tea, over some artwork, over on a couch stewing over the word. Everyone is expressing their love for Christ in their own way to the tunes of random worship songs played out on the stereo.
Psalm 23:4-6
‘I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
In the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house forever.
Robin made the statement that once we step into life with God, out of death, we can’t go back: Christ has closed the door. We left death, and stepped into life. Not only life, but abundant life. Behind us are ruins. The town we came from is desolate rubble. The people diseased and dying. We have come to a new place, and are being healed of our afflictions, taught a new way of living. One that doesn’t destroy ourselves and others, but which is good to all. We are rich because God the father has adopted us into his loving family. This isn’t any normal orphanage, but one which heals and protects our souls as well as our bodies. A family of love and affection. We are encouraged to be who we were made to be, not anyone else. Our true self is encouraged, developed and grown. Our Father is true, and the adoption is complete. He provides everything we need, and more. He loves us more than anything else. In fact, He sacrificed his own son so that we may live. He is the author of all that is good. He plants and nurtures talent. In His house, joy abounds. The sweets and candy are things that are good for us, and don’t simply melt on our tongues. He is our teacher, our friend, our leader and our role model. He is good cop and bad cop. He is consistent, He doesn’t have bad days or mood swings. He brings us wholesome chicken soup when we are sick and a loving hug when we are down. One day, maybe even today, I can help my old friends. I can bring them home with me, and if they let Him, He will heal them, and help them as He has helped me. It’s sad, actually it’s tragic because His house is open to all who will truly trust Him, but not many do. They think all sorts of things about Him and His children. Even His son, who wasn’t held by death. They make up rumors about Him. They run in the other direction, and never look back.
I’ve taken it as my mission to find kids who are looking for a place to stay, a home, for love, or attention. Those who want healing, those without parents, those without friends. They’ll listen; they always do in the end.
Love from Kate
